Home > Comedy > “QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME”

“QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME”

The following is from an email I received from a friend. Some of these are quite brilliant while some are pretty stupid. Enjoy.
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If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered
rape or shoplifting?

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Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

________________________________

Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny
for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?

________________________________

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

________________________________

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up
like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They’re going to see you naked anyway.

________________________________

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?

________________________________

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

________________________________

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

________________________________

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs!

________________________________

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn’t he just buy dinner?

________________________________

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

________________________________

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

________________________________

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

________________________________

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

________________________________

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
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Categories: Comedy
  1. 11/04/2008 at 6:33 am

    Haha. Some of these are really funny.My favorite is: Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

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